Tuesday, March 6, 2012

Here Goes Nothing...

So, this is happening. Given our youth, we should be writing a blog detailing our one night stands but apparently we have been given the shitty end of the love stick and are forced to take alternative measures. Though I suppose “forced” isn’t the appropriate word choice - we’ll go with “curious”? Regardless, we are young and fabulous 20-somethings (Laurel the twenty and Kate the “something”) who are sick and tired of the BS. We asked ourselves: aren’t we supposed to be dating? Meeting new people? Is that even what happens anymore? Shit if we know, lately all we’ve done is make out with the groomsmen or with strangers in undisclosed locations. SINS. Needless to say, we figure it is time to see what else is out there for us, and what better way than to start a blog-speriment? Yes, we did make up that word.  We realize we’re crazy in the eyes of many of our cohorts. I mean, let’s be honest, going on a dating website is the tell-tale sign of someones ultimate desperation. But what if its the hidden treasure? What if we make some fabulous new friends? What if there are more 20-somethings out there for us than we originally thought? The what-ifs were too overwhelming to ignore.

We realize, friends, that you are terrified to lose your dignity over signing up for a dating website. We also realize that there are a handful of you out there that are definitely signed up but refuse to disclose it to your friends.  To all of the above, don’t worry - we are here so let’s chat! We lost our “social” dignity awhile ago (see picture below) and are not afraid to take one for the team, once again.

Anyway, here’s how this bad boy is going to go down:

1) Our History
As a courtesy, we would like to inform all of you how we found each other in a mutual
feeling of “Dear God, am I going to be a dog lady?.” We met on Black Wednesday and
bonded over ordering a terrifying libation that Double D’s referred to as the Grateful
Dead. In short, 1) yes, we’ve actually only been friends for as many months as you can
count on one hand and 2) we were, in fact, nearly dead and don’t want to/wouldn’t
remember anything about that night even if we tried. Again, SINS. What’s even better
about this whole situation is that our mutual man friend hid us from each other. We aren’t
kidding! Our theory is that he was/is terrified of us coming together and subsequently
having no need for him anymore. To that special, special man sir - we love you, thank
you and hope we terrify you until the day you die. Godspeed.

2) Our Inspiration
Even if we had the ability, we would not be ashamed to say that we really got our
inspiration not from our own date-less lives but from Reese herself in This Means War
(which, might we add, is really remarkable and really a kick in the ass for all singletons
out there). We attended this on date night with petite bottles of pinot grig, red cups,
muddy buddies and gummy bears all shoved in Kate’s vintage Kate Spade mom bag
(and by vintage we mean only vintage because it’s a Kate Spade creation - in reality it
looks more like a purse-sized fabric cooler from the 90s).

3) Where This Blog Comes Into Play..
Where we are not writing our own posts about our dates (if we get any?) we will write our
posts as we have our conversations - shameless and possibly offensive.  We promise to
remain open to actually meeting someone. That is why we are here, right?  While this is
an experiment to give young people more visibility into the online dating experience, we
do realize real people (ourselves included) are at stake and that we may actually find
someone we jive with (fingers crossed?!). This is why we will rename all of our men
(keeping the Muppet's in mind) and make promise not to attack someones character,
though we don’t promise we won’t attack our own. Humility at it’s finest, right!?

4) Which network to choose?
Well kidos, we did our research. All 5 minutes of it. Essentially we asked everyone (read:
the few who would listen) whose opinion we valued what they would choose if they were
going on a dating website. Generally we received the “well if I was desperate...” but there
were a couple of gems we did want to highlight:

1) “eHarmony is more geared towards marriage and I am pretty sure match.com is a little
sluttier” (Marriage at twenty or something?! Yikes!)
2) “I would probably choose eHarmony.com because I trust the old man in the
commercials.” (....)

Either way, we chose match.com for the following reasons:
1) More people and a better ratio (50/50) - we aren’t successful now may as well give us
a better chance. “Big Fish In A Small Ass Pond” is what this blog should be called. (The
titled was thrown around...unsuccessfully.)
2) Feels a little bit younger in terms of demographic (TG)
3) Less geared towards marriage (Laurel is currently still talking herself into liking other
people’s children so it’s going to be a while. Clarence is a HUGE step in the right
4) Way cheaper - While this may put us at risk for dating cheap men, we are similarly
cheap and no one likes a hypocrite.

So, here it goes. Post number one and the beginning of an epic adventure. Stay tuned tomorrow for our thoughts on the profile process. It’s gonna be a doozey!

Wish us luck.

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